Keith Haubrich

You could label me a World Citizen and a Renaissance Man In Training, among other things.

I am bilingual (fluent in Hebrew) and working on trilingual (Spanish).

My high school nickname was G-zus due to my long hair and beard, and I was awarded Most Unique in my class, which I wear as a badge of honor.

I've been a strict vegetarian since 1991 (who says men can't commit?), mostly out of compassion for animals.

I am a two-time Freestyle Moustache World Champion in 2007 & 2009, plus a two-time Whisker Club moustache winner in 2008 & 2009 and 3rd Place National Moustache winner in 2010, with waxed cat whiskers, fork & spoon, bonzai trees, Saturn & Uranus and scissors, respectively.

As a result, I have been featured in online, television, print, and film media worldwide.

I'm also proud to say I never have, and never will, own a car.

In my spare time I like to chase my cats around the house, host dinner parties, and waste time staring at my Mac screen (See? I'm just like you!)

I'm no computer nerd, though, nor am I just a chess whiz, a self-hating Jew, a band geek, a wine connoisseur, a cat lady, a bleeding heart, a beach bum, a playa hater, a bullshit artist, a pathological narcissist, nor a bookworm.

I spread my interests and hobbies thin enough to avoid being pinned down by a label.

I'll admit that being an arrogant snob was the best thing to happen to my self-esteem since I was an abused kid, but don't hold that against me.

As Bob Dylan sang, "I was so much older then/I'm younger than that now."